Tibetan Wedding in Jiarong

Each culture has its own views of social relationships.  The wedding highlights these aspects.  From the wedding activities we can learn about their social values.  For many Chinese, the wedding is a social event between two families.  As for Jiarong Tibetans in Sichuan, it is a social event between two communities. 
The most interesting aspect about this wedding custom is that the newly-wed couple can not spend their wedding night together.  After the wedding ceremony, the bride is always accompanied by her chaperone, even staying overnight with the groom's families. The next day, they return to the brides' family and stay at their house for a couple of days, or even longer.  Later after returning to the groom's home, the couple can finally be truly united. 

In the early morning, the groom's wedding party comes to invite the bride for the wedding ceremony.  Very possibly, the groom is confined in his own place waiting for his task.  Guided by her chaperone, the bride is carried, in the "piggy-back" style, through her village gate by her older brother.  If the bride doesn't have any brother, she can pick someone as the brother figure for the wedding.  Her wedding party, her close friends and relatives, escort them to the wedding ceremony.  The scene is very animated, both by music, and by the crying of the bride and her female companions, who are reluctant to see the bride leaving, on one hand, and happy for her, on the other.  Tears and music compose the symphony of their endearments. 

As the bride is taken away, her villagers line up along their way and sing: 
"Away is our darling girl 
  Take good care of her and we 
  Wish you all best 
  Roses all the way on the wedding road" 

"Please put your hearts at ease 
  We will take care of the bride well 
  In all things she will have happiness," sing in response the groom's party. 

Back and forth, all people from both villages sing their caring and blessings. 

Notice that the bride's head is already covered with a red veil, and that her feet do not touch the ground when she leaves her village.  This signifies a total devotion of the bridal families to assist the bride's adaptation to her new family and new life.  In order to have a new start and to better prepare her, it takes efforts and determination.  This is difficult for her, her family members, her friends, and her village folks. 

The maternal uncle of the bride is the most honorific figure at the wedding.  This is a reflection of ancient matriarchal practice in the culture.  In this ancient family system, the family was passed through the mother rather than the father.  The oldest brother is the guardian of his sisters and the sisters' family.  These matriarchal practices seem obsolete nowadays.  There's still a popular phrase:  "In heaven there is the god of thunder; on earth there is the maternal uncle." Because of this history, the uncle is the most respected guest at the wedding.  Everyone on the groom side makes every effort to please him.

By heart, darling

Finally, the bridal party reaches the groom's house. There are two brides seated there. The bride and her chaperone ( maid of honor) are dressed exactly alike, literally from head to toe.  Nobody but the groom can solve the puzzle. 

This is a symbol of their intimacy- no one can penetrate their heart-to-heart connection. When he "courted" his bride he would have sent certain items as the symbol of their relationship.  Commonly they are jewelry such as rings, bracelets or even necklaces.  If he is sincere enough, he should be able to identify their symbolism and lift off the veil without making a mistake.  The villagers thus admire his triumph and see his bride, perhaps for the first time. 

How would you fare if you had to differentiate your spouse-to-be under similar circumstances?  In some modern Chinese wedding games, the bride is blind-folded and asked to distinguish her husband out of several wedding guests by simply shaking hands.  You better be sincere and know your other one by heart! 

We apologize for being unable to tell you the answer about the real bride.  This is a privilege of the groom.  Would you let other people know the secret between you and your "significant another" ?

The wedding ceremony is viewed as an important and a sacred event.
Upon arrival, the leader of the bridal party, the maternal uncle sprinkles sacred water (usu. clean water) at the entrance of the groom's village. This is to worship Heaven, Earth, and the Mountain Gods and to beseech their blessings for all. There is even a ceremony for opening the wine at the wedding! 

After all the events of the wedding have occurred, the maternal uncle takes the bride back to her own family on the second day.  A group of young men and women line up along their way to see them off.  At the end of the line a red ribbon is held to stop their return.  Among these people, someone will come out with "white flour" and powder it on all the foreheads of the bridal members.  For the Jiaron Tibetans, white color is highly  regarded- we don't exactly know why.  Powdering someone with white flour signifies well wishes to new families, new village friends, and a new life between two villages.  All the villagers sing and dance all day to signify this important moment.  The wedding is more about two villages than just two persons. 

The longda, also called the "fortune horse" or the "paper horse," is a woodblock-printed horse on paper.  This comes from the traditional Tibetan "Sacred Horse" worship. Its size is about two inches wide and four inches long. On auspicious days, such as a wedding or a festival, many Tibetans would bring the "longda" with them to a sacred or high-peaked mountain and throw the Longda into the air, letting the wind blow them high and far, like horses running swiftly and serenely. The longda brings human's wishes to the gods. Humans are then blessed. 

It is common to see a "flying flag" on a Tibetan roof. This is a symbol that means good fortune, in much the same way a Westerner will say, "The wind is blowing my way." It is also an auspicious sign to dream of a running horse-- Soon, good things will come to you.